“The biggest cause of a bad self-image is the lack of unconditional love”. Zig Ziglar

A deficient self-assessment … I’m worth less than …

Let us start from the assumption that a being living in a “neutral” state has no reason to evaluate itself in relation to others, and even less in a negative way. Assuming that’s a point of healthy self-esteem.

So there are bound to be lived experiences that have returned to the person the image of a devalued identity.

There is a point where a “learning” took place. Otherwise, why would the person have negative thoughts about themselves?

For the moment I am only evoking the experiences lived in passive mode, that is to say the experiences undergone.

I distinguish two kinds of experiences, those which generate tacit information, sprinkled in everyday life , constituting presuppositions, and installing beliefs about identity, for example “I am in excess”, “I am not beautiful”, “I am not interesting” … this information often corresponds to a projection of the other, that the person feels and when I speak about this, I think particularly of the children who are very sensitive to it.

Building self-esteem

Very often low self-esteem originates early in life in childhood, the attitude of parents: how they showed their love, the place they gave this child in the home, and the way in which they carried it into the world.

Social or ethnic origins, differences between the family and the outside world are sometimes badly experienced by the family group, the child can be impacted by this negative emotional charge. In this case, the family belief, can be “we do not like us” “we are worse off than others”, “we must be discreet, not to be noticed” etc. so the child says to himself that if he is from a family like that, then he too is not wanted in the world … And beyond that, what matters most is: how the person interpreted that.

Traumatic experiences

To each person his measure. Some experiences are traumatic for some, while for others they are unimportant facts. The important thing is how the subject experiences it.

“A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success”. Joyce Brothers

Besides all these little facts put together, there are also traumatic events, which have taken place once or several times.

For example, humiliations, failures, harassment, deep emotional wounds that the person remembers a long time later.

A few hypnosis sessions after …

After treatment with, Breath working, Hypnosis or with an integrative method, the person continues to remember the event, but the emotional impact is neutralized. When working in hypnosis, the subject integrates different information about the lived experience.

He “let’s go” of his traumatic emotions to accept a new understanding of the experience. His emotional system is freed, he spontaneously finds personal resources to accept things and go beyond them. It’s like erasing pain, erasing words. Through hypnosis the unconscious integrates new memories.

And all of these facts are experienced in passive mode, that is, they are suffered.

There is also a category of facts that the person blames himself, these are acts or positions in situations.

This is another category of facts that cause low self-esteem, which gives rise to shame or guilt. it is shame or guilt.